Dear Ray Ray,
I am at a lost. My wife and I have 3 wonderful children, well 2 wonderful children. Our youngest has decided she is a vegetarian. At first, we thought it was a phase, but the days turned into weeks, and now we are in month 3 of this “phase”. She is 13 and is stubborn as a mule. Did we fail as parents? Is it too late?
Please help us Ray Ray.
Sincerely,
Pork Chops and Applesauce
Dear Pork Chops and Applesauce,
As an excellent hypothetical parent, I believe there are two tools that every parent should have in their toolbox: shame and manipulation. You can try both with your problem child. During family T.V. tyme, tell her she is only allowed to sit on the floor; if you want a seat you better eat your meat. If you go out to dinner (BBQ or steakhouse), she can go, but you pick out her clothes, you can have a lot of fun with this. What parent does not enjoy embarrassing the hell out of their kids? You should also passive aggressively mention kids in third world countries would love to eat meat, or that their grandfather didn’t fight in Korea for them not to eat meat. A sneakier and less emotionally damaging technique would be manipulation. For two weeks cook their veggie meals as bland as possible. No butter, salt, Tony’s, paprika, no nothing. Then gradually start adding bacon fat. Before you know it, your whole family is enjoying cheeseburgers in paradise.
You’re welcome and good luck, Ray Ray