07 Mar

Dear Ray Ray, 

When I first started dating my wife, she made me a meatless lasagna and I lied and said I loved it.  Now five years later she makes veggie lasagna every other week.  While we were dating, I could just swing by Rally’s for a Big Buford on the way home.  Now that we’re married it is harder and harder for me to sneak out.  I have looked into divorce, but it’s so damn expensive, plus I love our house.  My mancave is on point.  Oh, and my wife, I love her too.  

Help me Ray Ray, Lasagna without meat is like a day without sunlight. 

P.S. I saw her looking up recipes for a vegan meatloaf.  I can’t even… 


Dear Lasagna w/out meat is lyke a day w/sunlight (too long of name if you ask me), 

You made your bed, now you to have to lie in it. (See what I did there) While wives are a dime a dozen, kick ass mancaves are not.  You need an emergency exit plan.  Always have some household necessity close to being empty.  Something lyke toilet paper or whiskey.  That way on veggie lasagna night you have a reason to leave after dinner.  

Here’s the kicker, have whatever necessity already in your trunk so you then have tyme to get your meat on.  As for the vegan meatloaf, sabotage it.  While she isn’t looking, sabotage that monstrosity.  If all else fails, honesty.  Sometymes honesty is not a bad option. 

 Good luck.

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