(Warning! This is not at a Blog in a traditional sense. My name is Travis, and I am one of the Buck Brothers students in their dance class. The other day, they overheard a dance mom talking about a Blog she read. I don’t think they understood what a Blog was, but they wanted one. Buck Wylde said something lyke, “Yo Naked, this shit here could put us back on the map!” I am only 12 years old, but I am pretty sure they were never on the map to begin with. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Brothers. I have been their student since I was 5 when they had their dojo. After their dojo was shut down a couple years ago, they opened the dance studio. They went from the Buck Brothers Bring Da Pain Karate to the Buck Brothers You Got Served Dance Studio.
When I asked them what kind of blog they wanted, Buck Naked responded, “You know, impart the wisdom we have collected over the years, and make the world a better place.” To which Wylde said, “Yeah, and whatever blog can earn us some green.”
So here we are and since neither of them are proficient in technology in general, I have been tasked with scribing this blog for and I quote, “prosperity”. I told them it would be much easier to make a vlog or a podcast, and then after explaining what they were, they just looked at me incredulously and laughed. Naked referenced some movie from the 90s, The Net, or something lyke that, and the two men explained to me that once you are on the internet, Big Brother can frame you for anything. So, they decided the safest thing is for them to talk and for me write down everything they say.
Apparently, they helped some guy get out of a pickle a few years ago when they had a private investigating company, Buck Brothers Private Dicks, so he is letting them post their blog on his Chingaling Chronicles website. Must have been a heck of a pickle.
Without further ado, The Buck Brothers Blog.
One more thing, in order to tell who is talking I thought it would cool to have different fonts for each of the Brothers. The idea was good, but then I let them pick put their own font. That is an hour I will never get back. Buck Wylde chose Jokerman because of his love for Full Metal Jacket, and Buck Naked went with Impact, because of his hard-hitting jabs.)
(Editor's note: since the website is not capable of changing the fonts, Buck Wylde's voice is underlined and Buck Naked's voice is in bold for obvious reasons)
Yo yo yo, Buck Naked here with my boy
Buck Wylde, wazzup
We just wanted to talk with ya’ll about…… (He then whispers to Wylde. These guys have no clue what’s going on or how any of this works) Wylde, what are we supposed to be talking about?
Man, I don’t know. What do people normally “blog” (and yes, he did use air quotes) about?
At this point they both looked at me with blank stares, and I swear one of them said, “let’s go off the record for a little bit”. On a side note, the $20 they are paying me is not worth it.
I pulled out my phone and showed them some blog pages and all the different topics. They then walked over to the corner to have a little conference; this is something I’m used to in dance class. Our routines are normally developed this way. Then they started doing some sort of cheer.
Am I the meanest
Sno'fuff
Am I the prettiest
Sho’nuff
Am I the baddest mofo low down around this town
Sho’nuff
When they noticed that I didn’t join in on the chant or whatever that was, they “learned “me about the Last Dragon. Wylde then went to the storage room and rolled out an old tube TV strapped to a cart and Naked got their VHS copy of the Last Dragon out of their safe. I admit, the movie was kind of baddass in an 80s kind of way. After the movie, they realized their topic for their first blog.
Bullying. Stop doing it.
Yeah, bullying doesn’t make you a baddass, it makes you a punk
Dat’s correctomundo, if we catch anyone bullying any of our kids in our dance classes, we are going to….. (I decided to leave out this section out just in case it can be used in court. Besides, the Brothers will never even find this blog on the internet anyway)
So in closing, don't be a bully, and if you see someone bullying someone, be a hero and knock dat bitch out
And that is pretty much how that went down. Hopefully, their friend changes his mind when I send him the transcript. They may be bad at blogging, but they are great dance instructors.